I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
