Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
