I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
