i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
