Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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