Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize