explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
