I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
