I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
