No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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