how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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