Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
