Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
