Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
