8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize