The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
