Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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