I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
