your thong is hanging out like whoa
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
