I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
