Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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