What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
