I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
