He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
