I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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