did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize