dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
