When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
