i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Boobs speak an international language.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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