oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
