My brain says no but my pants say off.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
