I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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