Pappa wants mamma naked
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
