On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
