i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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