At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
