I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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