Sober January is a disaster.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize