that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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