JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
