I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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