is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
