I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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