I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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