Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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