I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
