a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
