I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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