What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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