when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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