Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
