Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
