I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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