I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
