I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize