Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
