i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
