she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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