My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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