if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
