this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
