I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
