Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
