I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
