Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
