so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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