everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
